7 Things I never told my Dads family in reverse chronological order

1. I miss the way  your names would roll off my lips when I would read them in a letter you would end up never responding to. 

2. In a class, amidst the hundreds of assignments, we were told to plant a tree. A tree to bloom of grandparents and mothers, and children. It was my family tree,  and I remember my decision to make it lopsided.

3. You weren't at his funeral, a mere five years have passed, and you are standing in a kitchen. Alone. Even your presence was not felt in the sand that swirled around his tombstone. 

4. I didn't understand what had happened. My father cried for the first time I’d ever seen, and I was still so young. We sat on Papa’s front steps, by his garden full of life, flowers of every color imaginable in bloom as if this was the last time they’d ever touch the sun. A honey bee landed on a purple one, and you reached for it. I told you not to, that it would hurt you. Your hand never hesitated though. It crawled up on your finger, and time seemed to slow down. A creature I had always been wary of stood inches away from me, and it was so graceful. Its brilliant yellow on a black that seemed to have gone through one too many washing machine trips. It was soft. And when I ran my small fingers across it, you said “Don’t be afraid”.  I am no longer afraid.

5. Your surprise on Thanksgiving Day was wonderful. We made pecan pie from scratch, and I’m not sure what why, but it tasted so much… sweeter.

6. That Christmas morning I felt myself grow a few inches taller. Beside a Christmas tree and a pile of ripped wrapping paper, he stood there. Old cowboy hat, button up shirt, faded jeans, and cowboy boots, he just stood there. Smiling. And beside him, we all felt a little bit taller.

7.  I don’t know you too well yet. You’re old. But reading with you is always fun. I have just begun to learn what reading is truly about. I love dinosaurs, and this book is completely right; we should totally have dinosaurs as pets.  Could you read the part with the firemen, using that tall one Papa? Read it again. Maybe I’ll read it with you next time. But we have to start saving our money, and then we’ll find a pet store that sells dinosaurs. But for now, sitting on your lap, I couldn't be any happier.